Thin Tiger Stripe Controller

This is the red and black Thin Tiger Stripe wireless controller. I can do any color this was just one to post, this one also has a black overlay to make it appear more like camouflage. If you are interested in purchasing a controller from me contact me or I can paint your personal controller.For a full controller like this one below I am asking $70-$80 depending on design. To just paint the shell of your controller or to just purchase the shell I am asking $30-$40.

For any questions contact me here, youtube.com/deadretroconnection or at deckere88@gmail.com. Thank you.

Astronauts

Beat em" and Eat em" LAWLZ

   Well if the title doesn't say enough the masturbating madman and sperm guzzling women surely will. Beat em' & Eat em' is in a league similar to that of Custer's Revenge. But instead of raping you drink milky goodness that falls from the skies shot out by man who apparently has had a case of the blue balls for the past 37 years.

   Yes, this game features a man on a building blowing loads down to two women below who run to catch it in no other place but their mouth. The game play is very hard to control as you have to have where to stand  down to the fucking T in order to catch this Atari Peter North's yellow (yes, his sperm is yellow) baby batter. If you are even a 1/64 of an inch off then you get nothing, bu then again why you should want it in the first place? And the difficulty curve is fucking insane, you go from catching a few meager drops to out right bukkake in one round and the fact you have to stand so insanely perfect to catch the loads makes it  near to impossible. Think of Stop and Watch Gallery's Oil Trouble except when you have collected all of Bowser's Oil Peach runs out and Mario and herself began to furiously give one another oral sex.

   And that is it. There are no other features to this game at all except it continues to get progressively more difficult to the extent of your reflexes have to run on pure muscle memory if you can even make it that fucking far. And that is all this game to feature, literally. The content  level is on the same shit level of Custer's Revenge. It has less content then Solitaire. It has less content than Atari's fucking unfinished Pac-Man. And that will finish this game, that is all we can discuss about the  game.

Hahahaha this is too much

Super Columbine Massacre RPG. Yup you read that right.

    For one of the rare occasions in my life I feel a bit unnerved and shocked, something that rarely happens  due to numbing of the senses by such videos and media as "3 men, 1 hammer" or multiple shock movies like August Underground's Mordum and Snuff Holocaust. But this took the cake, actually reenacting a school shooting? You have to be fucking kidding me.

   So the game play is in a very classic RPG style. You start the game out in Eric's room waking up to a knock

on the door saying you are going to be late for bowling class. He awakens says some philosophical lingo then

you have to call Dylan. You prepare some duffel bags in the basement, feeling them full of propane bombs and Dylan arrives shortly after. Then you begin the faithful journey to the school setting up the bombs, waiting and preparing the guns then going in the school and doing exactly what you thought, shooting everything that moves in a Pokemon style rpg action doing everything from shooting the students, stabbing teachers and even murdering a nun. You also have a selection of homemade bombs you can use! Whoopy! Well after all of the shooting is out of your system your characters commit suicide and a section showing actual pictures of the shooting, the students and an actual photograph of Eric and Dylan's bodies laid out on the floor fresh after blowing each others heads off. Thinking this is the end one may think, well, that was fucked up let's go shower after something so disturbing. But no you would be mistaken. The game actually continues and Dylan finds himself alone in hell and you have to fight your way through, battling DOOM enemies. You also meet Mario, Mega Man and a few other video game characters before you meet real iconic personalities and delivering a copy of a Darwin book to none other than Nietzsche.You reunite with Eric and you fight Satan who tells you he is proud of your deeds once he is defeated. The last scene is Columbine  again were a meeting is being held discussing the evils of music, video games, etc.

   Wow, one may think, what a fucked up concept. But the troubles don't end there, the control? Fucking terrible. If you use keyboard  control options there are about, oh say, 15 fucking buttons that do that same thing. Directional controls are okay unless you decide to use a D-pad or something of the sort then guess what? THOSE ARE WORSE THAN THE GODDAMN ABILITY BUTTONS ON THE KEYBOARD!!! Oh and the directions of what to do are some times shockingly bad. One example, when you plant the bomb and get yourself armed to the teeth then you have to find "find a good spot on  Rebel Hill to wait until the fun starts." Okay you need to go find a marker telling you where to stand until you rush the school right? Nope, you aimlessly wonder around hitting the select button until you find the exact spot you need to be in. IT IS SO IRRATATING!!! And that is the game in all of its essence, highly unnerving and disturbing, partial shitty controls and overall a kick in the balls to everyone that plays and the survivors of the actual event. I am ending here as I have nothing more to say about this shit.

Yup there you go GTA style on school kids

E.T. The Extra Bullshit

   Okay so we start off with something that can't possibly be better than any video game ever made right? Surely to good that no game out there is worse than raping Native Americans and glitched out game play that never changes.Well I hate to say it but alas, there sadly enough is. And is none other than the regurgitated shit stain forever cursed to live in infamy, E.T. The Extra Terrestrial for the Atari 2600.

   Here is something that just has to be good, a video game make of a movie. Yeah, those have NEVER failed and with this being such a heart warming movie that was a landmark in cinematic history. No this could only be good right? No. This game takes a movie that was such a nice warm film and turns in into a uncompromisable monster that only makes the player angry, confused and overall extremely disappointed. It would be similar to beating off to a transvestite to learn it is really your dad in the 80's. Oh yeah this game is comparable to that believe it or not.
   So down to business, what is this game about? No one fucking knows. I don't think that even the producers knew, I don't know and you wouldn't either but you shouldn't play it because that would mean you have done nothing but wasted a small amount of life you will never get back. But from what I can gather you go around this dense world, collecting squiggles, falling in holes and being chased by some Dick Tracy looking character and some doctor that who when picks up E.T. causes him to have a seizure. Your guess is as good is mine. Oh and you have a compass at the top of the screen that is like an epileptic watching a strobe light and never leads to anything. Mean while your score keeps decreasing with every move you take and once your score hits zero, which can sometimes be unexpected, you then turn white and die. But then, like the little angel he is, a boy appears and you just pop back to life, still confused, angrier and ready to quite or at least I was and did. This is pretty much the game. Really, that is it. There is no more to the game.

A little gameplay from yours truely 

   Well that is about all that can be said for this one as their is literally no more content to discuss, it is simply just shit. But hey who knows? Maybe some crazed individual has spent years playing it and has figured it out. No I doubt it, this game just fucking blows.

Look at the lush landscape and amazing graphics.

Worst Video Games Ever Made

      So all of us at one time or the other have played a video game and if you play any amount of video games then we will run into a bad video game. But what if we ran into something so just God awful, something so full of shit and 3 day old pus that it made us physically sick to play it? But what if in this mix there was something just blatantly offensive? Well here we have some of the worst and just plain offensive games to date. Here we go...

     To start the list let's try something that is known for being awful even 30 some odd years ago. Also it features something that most of us find pretty offensive which is none other than, well, RAPE. Not just rape but rape of a Native American tied to a cactus. ? Yeah no one gets it either. But here it is in all of it's 8-bit genital flopping, rapping glory, Custer's Revenge.

                                                          

      Well the cover of this game give away quite a bit. It features a nude Looney tunish Custer sweating over an apparently gigantic Native American woman. Also a nice little tee pee is in the background which is also featured in the game. And if all of this isn't enough then the bold black warnings saying that it is an adult only game and it is not to sold to minors will def. be a dead give away.

     Well lets get down to game play. This consist of you, Custer, running the amazing feat of 10 yards or so to a Native American woman who is tied to a cactus in the middle of some blocky flesh colored desert to rape her dressed in nothing but his scarf, hat and cowboy boots. But beware! From the skies rain down pixelated arrows shot by some unknown assailants from off the screen.Oh and these arrows have no rhythm or timing they really just wildly fire and as you progress the off screen bowmen begin firing so quickly you don't have time to even react. Literally screens will start off with a barrage of arrows flying the speed of smell killing you before you have time to move. And if there are that many people wildly firing arrows, why not charge this ONE man and kill him saving the woman? But is only half the fun, the point of all of this is to make it to the woman and pelvic thrust her all the way up to 50 whopping points in which I can only guess he ejaculates finishing the level. Then what do we do? The same thing over again. And again. And again. Then you know what? We repeat this for an unknown time, if you play this all the way to the end or a kill screen you need to stop playing this piece of shit and get some help not based on the plot alone but the mere repetitiveness and shitty design.Well here is a little taste of game play.

Yup, it is exactly what it looks like. Also, why is she smiling?

     Well if this starts with Custer raping Indians then what can be next?